Thursday, November 29, 2018

INDEPENDENCE

No fight fought for independence in the history can be as big as the fight toddlers give. This is not diplomatic or territorial, this is hormonal. This is not the fight on which the future of a country depends, it's the fight on which the whole human existence depends. OK, I am not exaggerating. If you see the repercussions of defeat in this battle, which is quite figuratively seen around us more often these days, you'll know what I mean. 

You see, the whole humanity thrives on the words, 'why' and 'how'. And of course 'why not'. And it all begins at this age. I know I have stressed on how troublesome toddlerhood is in my past blog posts but never mentioned how developmentally (and for humanity) it is important.

Saying that may make you a little milder towards your child but not completely scream free. And the reason is their ability to reason. The part of their brain that can reason, does not develop completely until they are five. So trying to explain them your point is, pointless. And around the age of two, the 'how', 'why' and 'why not' words are also not in picture. I mean, they exist but not as words but as actions and that makes you take a longer while to understand them. 

Example, A brought his shoes out and asked me to assist him wear those. Without a thought I took the right one and started putting it on his right foot, at which point he withdrew and put forward his left foot. I sensed it as a mischief and calmly picked up the left one and went ahead to wear it over his left foot. This time he retaliated again. He wanted to wear left shoe on right and vice a versa. Of course, as an extra smart mother, I tried to explain him. 🙄😌😂 Undoubtedly, a failed attempt! Then, I did as he asked me to. Thoroughly satisfied, he stood up and started walking away. Within seconds, he turned back and gave me a look. He got the answer for his unspoken 'why not'. And then on, he takes my approval on his shoe business.

They want to see, hear and feel everything by themselves and not just cramp their minds with your experiences. We would never stall some scientist in his laboratory while he is experimenting, would we? Then, just because these born scientists are experimenting something too obvious and something you have ingrained in your system, doesn't mean it's stupid or insignificant. The modern man is as astonished as the first cave man was when he discovered fire. 

They have to feel the fire to know it can be dangerous, they need to feel the wind to learn how to respond to it the next time it blows in their faces. This sounds dangerous. But you need a brave heart to raise brave humans. There will be skinned knees, broken nails, small burns, wounds and pain. But that's how they learn, that's how they evolve.

And that's how you save the humanity. 

Bingo..!! 

Yes, I mentioned something really scary here. But of course I do save him from doing stuff that can mean serious harm to him or people around him. You know, there are ways to play around their wild streak for independence. But that deserves another post. So wait for it. 

Saturday, November 24, 2018

CONSPIRACY OVER THE FOOD BATTLE


Eating is a forever battle between the kids and theit  parents. Even if your child eats well, you worry whether it's enough or is it too much. Of course what you feed your babies is your decision, I am not here to advise you on that. This post is not about that. 

Though A has been a pretty good eater but the lows and highs he has, make me skeptical about the whole nutrition thing. I have read and heard a hundred opinions, read many blogs and books and tried every trick to get in some extra nutrition in his body. 'It's not that difficult' , some may say. 'You can hide the sabzi in the roti and mix things up in his milk or just put on the TV so that he gets too busy to notice what is going into his tummy'. Firstly, I do not approve of this technique. If they do not know what's going in, probably when they start eating by themselves, they will grow up not liking it and avoid it completely. And secondly, A is too smart to know if there's something hidden within his chapati. Of course, I have tried hiding and force feeding, I wanted to try everything to get in some more veggies in his body. And through my journey, I learnt some really amusing and valuable lessons. 
Here they go - 

WHEN TO BEGIN? - For many its "solids at six" but for us it was "ate at eight", our doctor was of the opinion that if the weight gain is proper we should let him thrive on ebf a little more. Though I was worried that he won't accept food if we start late but actually he was so much interested in food by then that our transition was a lot smoother. Even weaning off breastfeeding was easier. So the lesson learnt here, when you start with solids won't make your child a good or a picky eater.
 
‌ SPICES AND SEASONINGS - Whatever the world says, I couldn't feed my baby anything that I wouldn't eat myself. So we seasoned his food from the very beginning. Not generously but enough to be borne by human taste buds. Also I flavored the food with different species, like cinnamon with apple, cardamom with halwa, vanilla with banana and worked our way to the complex mixes. There are benefits of being a curious and experimental mother. Just yesterday he brought out the whole spices box from the pantry and showed interest in trying them. I was like, why not, that's like my boy. He spit out most of them (strangely he liked fenugreek seeds) but he was curious and experimental..!!! That's a win!! 

‌ FACE VALUE AND MARKET VALUE - To be clear with the title, I am not talking about the food here. I am describing the feeder. The mother..!! It's well known that kids learn what they see. But you'll be surprised to see how quick that happens. They put a piece of food in their mouth and look at you and more than their taste buds, your face decides for them whether they should go for more or not. And market for them, till they hit the school, is the pantry of the house. If they see more of natural foods, they will prefer them more over a bag of chips even when you go grocery shopping with them (don't even ask, how proud that makes me feel when A chooses a pack of cut pineapple pieces over glossy attractive chocolate packs) .

‌ GO WITH THE FLOW - We started with mashed and soupy foods. And just a month into it, A started rejecting it suddenly. He used to push away his bowl or try to jump out of his chair. Tired one day, I gave him what he was eyeing then, roti (advised by my cook. House helpers are the hard working moms who have neither time nor money to pamper their kids, hence the best advisors) and he happily sat trying to chew it without any teeth. He wanted to chew and not swallow. Eureka. I started making soft stuffed parathas. Things worked well until the next hitch when he wanted options to when he wanted his own plate to his own place on the dining table and we are waiting for the next now. They know their evolution stages well, it's we who underestimate their capabilities and ignore them and then eventually blame them for swallowing when they have mouth full of teeth. 

‌ INVOLVEMENT - We are working on this one currently. Not always A wants to eat what he has helped cooking but he anyways loves helping me cook or just watch me do it. I am also planning to start the vegetable garden again with his help so that he enjoys the dirt while some good habits make their way into his monkey mind without me trying to force them onto him.

P. S. I am not a perfect mom. I still try to hide veggies when I feel he has not had any for long, I keep Googling and trying new recipes to see if he likes it that way, I follow few superstitious beliefs like giving his last morsel to an animal or circling his head with rock salt or dried red chillies to ward off any bad influence he has, that don't let him eat. Tell me more of such weird ways and I will surely try them. That's how mother's function. Right!! 

But the ground line is making strong foundation of good habits will shape their future in a healthy way.

Sunday, November 4, 2018

THE Mother WHO LET'S HER KID FALL

I often get those looks when my child falls and I don't run to pick him up. "such an insensitive mom", "careless mom". But I actually feel good because while these people, mostly women are cursing me, my son gets up, dusts himself and moves on to the same activity again that made him fall. He did not need me. It was something he can cope with himself.

"Tough mom. Ehh." Some would say. But I was not this. I cried my eyes out when he got his ears pierced (hindu scientific reasons), when he got vaccinated, when he fell for the first time. But I learnt my way, slowly. Remember the first article I wrote on Motherhood ( http://me-n-ideas.blogspot.com/2016/07/journey-to-motherhood.html ). They mold the way you want. If you make a big deal out of small things, they do that too. Falling is a part of learning and my son gets it at an early age. He now even does that skillfully. He never let's his head fall first. He is more careful, observant and vigilant.

So yeah, I am the mother that let's her kid fall.