THE GRAND BUDDIES

There is this one question I have pondered on even before I thought I want a child and that is "why are firangi kids so well behaved!??"

Yesterday when A lost his sanity and was rolling on the floor for his demands which I denied to fulfill, he started calling out his grandparents. One of them came, scolded me for letting him cry and presented him with his demands. 

I got my answer - Firangi kids are well behaved because they have just two guardians (their parents), who usually are on the same page of parenting. The child gets no holes in the loop to get his way done, eventually he follows what his parents do. Unlike this, WE HAVE THE GRANDPARENTS, who follow a completely different book on parenting. Oh no, if you think grand parents are only bad news, then no. The reason we Indians are good when it comes to juggad (getting our way out in any situation) , it's because we learn the art at home. We figure out that as we are bullied by the parents, there is someone in the house who can bully them and we become smart enough to use this fact for our good. Perfect juggad education! 😂😂

But seriously, why don't we as parents like the grandparents interfering in our job. We have loved them as parents, they conditioned our basic self but as life happened, we got new lessons that were not scrutinized by them. Our views over living, health, outdoors, entertainment, academics, career planning, relationships changed at every turn of the decade. And to face the ever-changing world, we want our children to take from our learnings and move ahead of us and not take from our parents and land up where we landed. 

Having said that, there is no doubt that the grandparents love our kids more than we do. They know that because of the survival duties they missed some precious childhood moments of their children and now that they are free of all the duties they want to compensate by witnessing the childhood of their grandchildren. 

Now this can be a real boon and take our children farther than those firangi kids, IF..... If the parents and grandparents stick to their respective roles and don't try to switch. If sorted those in pointers, 

• ‌the parents should make the rules and define the limits whereas the grand buddies should look to it that the kids abide by them even when parents are not around. No one is back stabbed and the kid never learns about the plan B option. 
• ‌sometimes any one of the guardians may get annoyed by the kid's bad behavior and scold him. That time, none of the other elders should jump in to sympathize with the kid. Let them know that the person scolding, has a voice in the house. 
• ‌if there are any issues between the guardians, they should sort them when child is not around. You know how absorbing they are and you don't want them to build their opinions about anyone based on your perceptions. 
• ‌sometimes the grandparents try to remain nice to the child by presenting them with things that parents have forbidden or tell the child that they can't give them what they want because the parents have told so. What is the child actually perceiving? That the parents are the villains of their lives!! Don't tag someone's name along the rules. They have to live with each other even after you take off for after life journey. Don't make it harder for both the parties. 

If the parents have aspired to be parents, they are not just willing but eager to do all that it takes to be that. Let them do it their way, even if they make mistakes, they will learn and improve. And if they just accidentally became parents or are in no intentions of caring for their children (rare but a possibility) then pull up the sleeves and get into the job.

But mostly, be what the parents and the kids want you to be - a set of grown up kids. 😄