Friday, January 19, 2018

BEING A MOTHER - 8

Today we turn one.
Me and my son.
The first few days of this year, he sternly refused to sleep anywhere other than on my body and I felt disturbed and irritated as I could not sleep that way and was desperate to sleep; whereas last few days of the year, he kicks and pushes to free himself off my embrace, rolls to the corner of the bed and sleeps off himself and I am still disturbed and irritated as I feel dejected and miss that closeness we shared the whole year. And in between these two stages, I thoroughly enjoyed all the big and tiny progresses he made. At times, I even noticed his growth within a day's time.

Every baby grows massively in this first magical year and it's kind of a wonder for their parents. But this day, I feel like celebrating my first year more than his. The immense growth that I went through is more of a deal to me than his. You see, molding a soft pliable clay is a play but tempering a hardened and stiffened one is a job. This year, in all, has softened the sharp edges of my personality in an unimaginable way.

Patience, as all the mothers would agree, is the biggest lesson of all. I have desperately waited for a seven hour uninterrupted sleep and am still waiting.  Breastfeeding called for hours and hours of being in one place which tested my patience but when we started on solids, what to say, that phase hardened my patience. But the biggest of all, I would say, was learning to wait and let him explore new things and intervene only when needed than pouncing on before his quest began.

No judging ; at the beginning of the journey, I had set rules for how to raise him, whom to include and what to include but now I get it that, there is no rule book to raise them the right way. Not everything works the same way for any mother-baby duo. Breastfeeding - no breastfeeding, diapers - no diapers, bottles - no bottles and eventually the same goes for the other things in life too. So no judging .

Time management ; earlier I would manage just two or three jobs a day and that too one at a time with big breaks or naps or snacks in between but now I can handle quite a lot of things without realizing hunger or thirst and have also mastered to include all my limbs if need be. This year has squeezed out all the laziness off my mind.

Gender equality, I am a firm believer of this. I had planned to teach my son all the household chores before even I thought of having one. But this one year proved to me that we are NOT equals. Or may be just till we become parents. My husband's sick day is a rest day but my sick day has to incorporate baby's meals, poops, bedtime stories and all the things in between. When the husband is off the baby duty he can switch the parent mode off whereas I have no "off" switch whatsoever.

But the biggest of all lessons I learnt this year is humanity. The power to be able to influence a soul and then many more souls through that one soul, puts you next to God. And when you realize that you are put next to God, all you want to be is a little better human with every step that you take in your further journey.