I feel the term is too apt when you find twisted cunning ways to get your strong willed child to do what you want him to do. One of my favorite dialog of some movie goes like 'let them be the head, you be the neck that can turn the head any which way it wants' .
But who out of us, we or our toddlers, are obnoxious is difficult to decide. If sadistic pleasure was a product, these little monsters would definitely be it's brand ambassadors. If asked 'What is your favorite hobby?' I bet each one of them will say, "to see mommy scream, turn red, go down on all fours and beg to me". So when we turn to sorcery, it's actually to break their devastating spells on our sanity. Boom... Act justified!!
Now we can move on to sorcery, guilt free. So, to start with, you first need a few outbursts to understand what triggers their tiny bodies and racing minds to revolt.
Then
Try to avoid the trigger point completely.
Example, A loves going out in car or just plain sitting in the car in the parking lot. So we take the back door to go for walks. No car seen, no scene created.
If you can't avoid the trigger point, give in but don't make it a big deal.
Example, A wants to eat peanuts or dry fruits while having meals and has suddenly developed aversion for vegetables. So I put everything on the plate including the nuts, act as if I don't care what he eats and carry on with my meal. He doesn't understand why there is no reaction and then coyly goes on to eating roti with Dal or sabzi and at least trying everything that is served.
Instead of him reaching the trigger, you reach out first.
Example, A does not want to stall his play for bath or nap or bedtime. So when I need to take him for those activities, I purposefully tell him not to come, not to follow me and I go ahead. He gets puzzled, "how on earth she is telling me not to bathe or nap! " aaaand he follows my suit within minutes.
Give the trigger in the sibling's hand (in our case, paw).
Example, A loves milk but just for fun, he will give me tough time with it. So, now I tell Limo that 'I know how much you love milk and today I'll serve you in your favorite mug. Boom..!! Before limo even understands that I used him as a bait (my poor baby), the glass is empty or at least half empty.
Not always you can avoid the explosion
So when the damage is done, don't attempt to fix it or try to temper with its mechanism. You will end up multiplying the effect. Simply shut down your senses, drop your self-image consciousness (if you're in public) and turn cold turkey. Engage yourself in something, put on some music or make yourself some adrak Chai. He is likely to drop his weapons and join you. When he does that and looks lightened up, squeeze him into your arms, kiss him and make up.
Note : my husband sometimes proofreads my posts and he had a little comment on this and I thought of adding it 😜. He says, "you call this your witchcraft then why don't you share the witch that you become when things don't go your way!?"
Don't worry, I won't. 😋 it's not possible to do that in fewer words but I confess that I become furious when A wants something I don't approve and if given a witch's fire pot, I would burn each and every person who is giving him that stuff or smiles with joy to see him with that stuff. That's my instant reaction until I come up with some plan to play around with his choices.
"Dear husband, live with it." that's all I can say. 😝🤣
But who out of us, we or our toddlers, are obnoxious is difficult to decide. If sadistic pleasure was a product, these little monsters would definitely be it's brand ambassadors. If asked 'What is your favorite hobby?' I bet each one of them will say, "to see mommy scream, turn red, go down on all fours and beg to me". So when we turn to sorcery, it's actually to break their devastating spells on our sanity. Boom... Act justified!!
Now we can move on to sorcery, guilt free. So, to start with, you first need a few outbursts to understand what triggers their tiny bodies and racing minds to revolt.
Then
Try to avoid the trigger point completely.
Example, A loves going out in car or just plain sitting in the car in the parking lot. So we take the back door to go for walks. No car seen, no scene created.
If you can't avoid the trigger point, give in but don't make it a big deal.
Example, A wants to eat peanuts or dry fruits while having meals and has suddenly developed aversion for vegetables. So I put everything on the plate including the nuts, act as if I don't care what he eats and carry on with my meal. He doesn't understand why there is no reaction and then coyly goes on to eating roti with Dal or sabzi and at least trying everything that is served.
Instead of him reaching the trigger, you reach out first.
Example, A does not want to stall his play for bath or nap or bedtime. So when I need to take him for those activities, I purposefully tell him not to come, not to follow me and I go ahead. He gets puzzled, "how on earth she is telling me not to bathe or nap! " aaaand he follows my suit within minutes.
Give the trigger in the sibling's hand (in our case, paw).
Example, A loves milk but just for fun, he will give me tough time with it. So, now I tell Limo that 'I know how much you love milk and today I'll serve you in your favorite mug. Boom..!! Before limo even understands that I used him as a bait (my poor baby), the glass is empty or at least half empty.
Not always you can avoid the explosion
So when the damage is done, don't attempt to fix it or try to temper with its mechanism. You will end up multiplying the effect. Simply shut down your senses, drop your self-image consciousness (if you're in public) and turn cold turkey. Engage yourself in something, put on some music or make yourself some adrak Chai. He is likely to drop his weapons and join you. When he does that and looks lightened up, squeeze him into your arms, kiss him and make up.
Note : my husband sometimes proofreads my posts and he had a little comment on this and I thought of adding it 😜. He says, "you call this your witchcraft then why don't you share the witch that you become when things don't go your way!?"
Don't worry, I won't. 😋 it's not possible to do that in fewer words but I confess that I become furious when A wants something I don't approve and if given a witch's fire pot, I would burn each and every person who is giving him that stuff or smiles with joy to see him with that stuff. That's my instant reaction until I come up with some plan to play around with his choices.
"Dear husband, live with it." that's all I can say. 😝🤣
Thoroughly enjoyed reading it..
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