FILLING IN THE BIG BOOTS

A loves his grandfathers more than the grandmothers. So, yesterday I was thinking why is he being gender biased even when he does not know what gender means! The reason is evident.

The GFs are more hands on guardians; ready to brush his teeth, wash his butt (remember, kids think that it is a privilege they offer only to their favorites), become whatsoever animal he wants them to become. The GMs don't really get into these activities with him. So naturally he favors GF over GM.

No no no, don't run away. This is not another post on grandparenting. I want to analyze why this happens and what should we remember for this to not continue with the future generation. So, I find that the GMs were hands on mothers of their time, giving their most for the children and to the children whereas the GFs hardly knew which grade their children were in. So what does that imply!?

The fathers! Yes this one is about them. Those who think that just by having a small human running around in the house fulfills their role, those who think they are not wired or designed to handle a fragile little being, those who think that earning for their future is more important than spending time playing with them or those who think a collective time over a weekend can suffice for everyday lost time. Guys, you are going to be great GFs undoubtedly because till the time you realize that you are missing time with your children, it will be your time to have grandchildren. And so you may put in extra love in nurturing them.

Of course I am not saying, fathers don't love their children. And before you try to justify yourself or try to tell me the other side of the story, let me tell you there are exceptions.  Exceptions like my best buddy, who quit his job to be a full time dad (of course there must have been personal reasons and discussions over the decision but I want to focus on his willingness) and I have told him to get is gene pool investigated to crack his biological code. Ha ha kidding. It's not coding anyways, it's the conditioning.

So ladies (mothers), it's too late nagging your spouses to change. They need to realize it themselves. That case is not in your hands but what is in your hands is the conditioning of your boys.

• Encourage them for doll play. Don't force them though but if they have a stuffed toy that they like, ask them to feed it, tuck it in bed for sleep and take it out on their tricycles. 
• Have a pet and ask them to groom him, take him for walks and feed him. 
• Ask them to look after their younger kin and help them whenever they need. 
• Include them in household chores, especially cooking  (it's a basic survival need that everyone irrespective of gender should learn). 
• When they reach a reasoning and understanding age, ask them to respect girls around them. Best way is to find them a role model, preferably the father (hopefully they decide to change by then) to show them their share of responsibility in the household chores, discussing and sharing of important decisions and all other chivalrous activities. 

So before they step in to the big boots, we need to fill in the gaps. Enough raising our girls to be equals. We need a change in the mindset.
Raise your boys to be equals.