Wednesday, June 28, 2017

BEING A MOTHER - 4

Now that I am a mother to a little man, I know why the mother-in-laws have unlikely feelings for their daughter in-laws.

As I caress my little man, I think of the fact that I am the first woman in his life, I am the one whom he'll kiss first, the one whose cooking he'll appreciate for the years to come, with whom he'll dance to absolutely any tune on earth. To me, he is the first man whose life will completely revolve around me for the coming years. He is the true, nurtured love of my life.

And someday, he will come to me, hand in hand with some girl, calling her his first love. It will shift the ground under my feet. By then, I will be so used to being the one focus in his life that suddenly being blurred out by someone will be unacceptable. They will be the two strangers sharing a charismatic connection in snap of a time, which took me years and years to build between us. She will be on the same page with him on every topic, instantaneously, where I will be updating myself constantly, every moment, to match his pace. Ofcourse, I will feel rejected, left out and ignored to feel envious and competitive for the girl in his frame then.

I shake off the thoughts and look at my little man in my arms, starring at me, waiting for me to smile at him, for my approval, for my appreciation. I think, I am crazy to go so bizarre in my mind when he is still so small to fit perfectly in my arms. But I guess, l just figured out why my mother-in-law secretly dislikes me sometimes and approves my husband's most abrupt ideas which I disapprove and laugh at.

P.S. I hope my yoga practice teaches me detachment till I reach this stage of life.

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