NOT JUST A SPERM DONOR

The world since ages has tagged men (or any male of many species for that matter), as just a sperm donor in the whole pregnancy, birthing and parenting process and all the credits of bringing up a civilised human and ultimately a responsible world has been enjoyed by us, the women.

As women, we are naturally inclined towards loving, caring and raising a child ever since we get pregnant, thanks to that ever thriving hormonal tree within. But what gets men to wear those responsibility shoes and how early can they pick up the pace? This question, to be true, matters to their partners more than the world in general.

I had my share of doubts until today while watching a pair of spotted munia, busy building their third nest on our window I pondered on the fact that males do play a major role in the whole reproducing system than just contributing a cell. The first and the second nest probably rejected by Mrs. Munia did not make Mr. Munia flee away, he was dedicated at the job till they had built the third and the best of all with proper ventilation, stability and protection. Mr. Munia with his efforts made me go back on counting my partner's subtle efforts to ensure my comfort while I am completely focused inwards in manufacturing a new human.

My journey is hardly half way through but the physical and emotional ups and downs have been massive. Being unknown of the fact that it is all part and parcel of pregnancy, I kept looking for a logical reason for the emotional havoc and have always drawn down to target my husband for it. But now reaching a sober stage I put it this way to myself that if I have been a taxi, driving a passenger (who seems in there for forever now) to its destination, my poor husband being a passengerless taxi has taken up the job of following me blindfoldedly and unquestioningly.

Experiencing my body going through various changes, I have been curious of the reasons, effects and after effects. And while reading and learning about it all I have been so awestruck that I excitedly pull him out of his mind cave to tell all this. Since then he has been learning about all the medical terms and procedures related to birth and about my uterus, birth canal, hormones and much more as if they are equally part of his own system.

No matter how much of a spiritual, patient and sensible person you are, motherhood makes you lose balance. The "stay happy throughout the journey for the best outcome" advice is completely mission impossible to achieve. And here to smoothen out the journey and make the advice quite an achievable goal, he has been fighting my real as well as imaginary demons to make sure I do what I thought I should be doing.

All this though is my part of the story, the way I perceive his journey through this phase and all so because he is a man of few words and most of the time, a man of no words. But the way he has taken subtle course of action like taking up most of the household chores, sacrificing his "me" time to entertain me, caring for my well-being every moment of the day, getting nervous on our gynac trips and feeling disappointed on not being able to feel the kicks and flutters even after many dedicated efforts. All this love for me that he has never expressed so much, has been brought forth by fatherhood. That is quite enough to ensure me of his child raising willingness and abilities.

The father's role hence is intangible. He is the psychological rock that can well direct the haphazard emotional stream of the mother, during this period. A mother has to nurture the baby within her but the father on the other hand has to emotionally nurture the mother to ensure the nourishment of their child. He carries his womb in his mind, holding both mother and the child for not just nine months but for life.